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a2a Inspirations>
At the Deep End of Responsibility and Commitment
March 1, 2006
Greetings all a2acoaching subscribers! Jenny Mallos here
writing to you from Las Vegas, USA. Hope you enjoy this
week's instalment in Linda's absence.
‘There are two great days in a person’s life – the day
we are born and the day we discover why.’
William Barclay
I got a whole new perspective on responsibility this last
week. I have just
completed an advanced training course with Jack Canfield in
San Diego and I can
tell you that my life will never be the same again!
Last week I talked about how responsibility has to do with
our ability to respond in
a given situation and owning the consequences of our
thoughts, feelings and
actions. In the seminar I got to see a much deeper level of
responsibility while
participating in a group exercise that lasted five and a
half hours for my group.
We were the last to complete the exercise – others having
finished
in less than two - but the lessons we learned were profound
as was our sense of connection.
I learned that there is a powerful and close connection
between responsibility and
commitment. It’s all well and good to say you are a
responsible human being but if
you aren’t clear about what you are committed to in life,
both for yourself and what
you want to create in the world – then responsibility
becomes flexible and
sometimes burdensome, often degenerating into a sense of
duty and obligation.
For example, if I am committed to looking after myself and
my body then I am
responsible for taking appropriate actions in order to
achieve the outcome I want.
Apart from making appropriate food and exercise choices,
this means not allowing
my life to become so overwhelmingly busy that I leave no
time for doing the things
I know will nurture and feed my mind, body and soul. The
bottom line is saying ‘no’
to requests and demands from others that will interfere
with my commitment,
which is ultimately my responsibility.
Can you see the power in that?
Similarly, if I say I am committed to making a difference
in the world by coaching
others to transform their lives, then I am responsible for
communicating that to the
world and carrying out the actions aligned with my
commitment. Here is where it
got really interesting for me: What I noticed about myself
is that I change my
communication i.e. change what and how I talk about what I
do, according to what
I think other people want to hear. What happens when you do
this is that you get
mixed results but more than anything you feel confused and
dissatisfied on the
inside without quite understanding why.
So here is the most important lesson I learned: When you
are committed to
creating something you are responsible for putting it out
there and communicating
it and to keep doing this UNTIL THE WORLD GETS IT. This
means you don’t change
your direction or your plans just because you got a
rejection – you keep going. But
let me be clear here: it does NOT mean you continue on a
path that leads you
nowhere; it does NOT mean you can’t change your mind or
refine your plans. It
means being crystal clear about what you WANT in the first
place and then taking
steps to fulfill that commitment.
True, this is tough stuff. And what’s the alternative?
Living a half-life where you are
constantly pandering to the demands of others while your
soul shrivels from the
sense of burden this obligation brings and the pain of
deprived dreams and desires?
I say it’s time to say ‘No thank you’ to this scenario and
make a choice TODAY,
RIGHT NOW, to honour our commitment to ourselves first.
The best way to start is to pick something that is doable
right now. For example,
writing a mission statement for yourself and reading it
daily or switching off the TV
and reading an inspiring book instead. The point is to take
ACTION.
Have an inspiring week.
Jenny
coachjen@totaltransformationlifecoaching.com
www.totaltransformationlifecoaching.com
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