ARTICLES

Self Awareness > When Perfection isn’t Perfect
By Janice Fenton
January 27, 2011

“No one is perfect…that’s why pencils have erasers” – author unknown. 


But do you ever have those days where you feel like you got stuck with all the pens? 
Today is one of those days for me.  I’ve spent much of the day teaching myself to use mailchimp, an online email newsletter tool.  And for a while, I got so caught up in the design and content of the newsletter having to be perfect, that I lost my enthusiasm for the project.  So I did a reality check. I reminded myself that I do indeed have a pencil and that I don’t have to be perfect.  Professional and educational will do just fine. 


What motivates us to pursue perfection?  Psychology professor, Timothy A. Pychyl, explains in Psychology Today that perfectionism comes in at least 2 flavours:  self-oriented perfectionists and socially-prescribed perfectionists.  Self-oriented perfectionists have a positive desire to be their best and they derive a sense of pleasure from their efforts.  These positive feelings enhance their self-esteem and motivate them to continue moving forward.   In contrast, socially-prescribed perfectionists are motivated by negative emotions, such as a fear of failure or a desire to avoid embarrassment.  Consequently, they do not derive pleasure from their efforts and tend to view their work as inadequate or inferior.


So, whether our strive for perfection is adaptive or mal-adaptive depends on why we are striving for it.  Do you strive for perfection because you genuinely derive a sense of pleasure from the activity you’re engaged in?  Or, are you striving for perfection in order to avoid something, like failure or embarrassment?  


Here’s a bit of fieldwork for you if you’re game.  Pick one example from your work life and one example from your home life where you set very high standards.  Now ask yourself which perspective on perfection are you taking.  If you find that it’s a socially prescribed one, challenge yourself on it.  For example, ask yourself how useful that approach is.  Is there a better way?  What are you afraid of?  What’s the worst thing that could happen if you let go of the perfection? 

And remember… you always have a pencil.


Janice Fenton is a personal coach who helps working mums work it out. With her support, clients identify what truly matters to them in their personal and professional lives, and they set and achieve meaningful goals.
Janice can be contacted at http://www.consideryourself.com.au.