ARTICLES

Communication > That’s What I said… Isn’t It?
By Janice Fenton
December 30, 2010

"A picture speaks a thousand words", and a word can mean a thousand things.   Okay, so that's a slight exaggeration.   But, even if we conservatively say that a word can mean two things, then if it means one thing to you and another thing to the person with whom you're communicating, well then... Houston, we have a problem.


Imagine a manager who says to their staff member "I'd like you to show more initiative".  So the staff member leaves the meeting and spends the rest of the week doing exactly that.   And, when she next meets with her manager, she's feeling pretty pleased with herself for how she's excelled.   Except that when she speaks with him, she learns to her surprise that he's disappointed by what she's done.  Perplexed, the staff member finally asks "what do you mean by ' initiative'?".  And as it turns out, they each had something slightly different in mind.  The staff member interpreted this request as one to stop consulting him for guidance so frequently and to make and enact more decisions on her own.  Unfortunately, what he had in mind was that she should come up with more ideas by herself, BUT, he still wanted her to consult with him before she put those ideas into action.   Oops.


Just as being on the "same page" about the meaning of a word is critical to establishing a common dialogue, pinning down meaning is also essential in goal setting.  After all, how can you get somewhere if you don't know where you're going.  So, if I say I want to get "fit", I need to ask myself "what does that mean".  "How will I know when I'm fit?  What does "fit" look and feel like?".  

Similarly, if I want to be an effective leader, I need to understand what I mean by "leader".  What are the typical characteristics and behaviours of a good leader, and more specifically, what are they in the organisation I work for?

And above all, remember that  "words are only postage stamps delivering the object for you to unwrap" - George Bernard Shaw



Janice Fenton is a personal coach who helps working mums work it out. With her support, clients identify what truly matters to them in their personal and professional lives, and they set and achieve meaningful goals.
Janice can be contacted at http://www.consideryourself.com.au.